


Hope

by PropertyOfThaJoker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star wars episode
Genre: Baby, F/M, Fluff, I cried writing this, Pregnant, fluff on fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 09:01:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13760730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PropertyOfThaJoker/pseuds/PropertyOfThaJoker
Summary: “Am I not allowed to stare at the fearlessness that is my husband?” He rolls his eyes and smiles. She gets on her tip-toes, gently kisses his lips, running a hand through his hair, her fingernails gently scraping his scalp in the way that he loves.“I’m hardly fearless,” he says in return. “That’s you.”





	Hope

**Author's Note:**

> I cried writing this. Maybe you'll see why. Let me know what you think!

Five years.

Five years since he’d left the First Order.

Five years since the war ended.

 **Nearly five years since Rey had come to him.**  

He looks out over the fields that their home sits on. His mother had left them quite a fortune, and they could be doing whatever they wanted, but they don’t. There’s too much to think about now.

They live alone, not another soul to be found for hundreds of miles. Chewbacca delivers supplies, and he pays him in return. Chewie usually is given a list by Rey of things she needs, and she needs a lot of things as of late.

As he watches the tall grass sway in the wind, he sees Rey coming back from her walk. Sometimes she likes to go by herself, but he knows it’s so that she can talk to his uncle. He’s okay with that. 

And damn, if she doesn’t look beautiful. Her hair is long now, the breeze making it move, and she’s wearing one of those long, gauzy white dresses that he likes; the ones that make her look like a goddess. But she’s already one of those, isn’t she?

 She approaches him, sitting next to him on the porch. “Are you feeling alright?” she asks, watching him as he stares at her.  
  
“Am I no longer allowed to stare in awe at the beauty that is my wife?” She blushes, even now after all these years – _she blushes_. He loves that about her. “You’re glowing.”  
  
She gently kisses his lips, running a hand through his hair, her fingernails gently scraping his scalp, giving him goosebumps in the best way. She’s been touching his hair as a sign of affection for years now.

“Well, I suppose we have you to blame for that, don’t we?” she asks, smiling, then giggling, getting a smile from him, as well.  
  
“I did do that,” he admits as he puts his hand on her stomach. She’s got three calendar cycles left before their girl comes into the galaxy.

“It takes two to duel, Ben.” She leans into his hold as he wraps his other arm around her. “She’s been kicking a lot today. Keep your hand there and you’re likely to feel her.”

Ben sits there next to Rey, holding her, watching as the sun sets on Haylon. The two moons already hanging in the sky. Once it’s dark, they go inside to cook with each other, watch a holovid, and he’ll rub her feet before he takes her to bed and does the thing with her that got her pregnant in the first place.

* * *

 

Their girl is only two sun cycles away from her due date. The medical droids designed for births have been here for two calendar cycles, and Rey is more than ready to meet their daughter.   
  
“I like you pregnant,” he whispers to her. They lay in bed, her back to his chest, his hand on her belly, and her hands atop his.  
  
“I’m sure I’ll be pregnant again.” She can tell through their bond that those words had made him happy. “But not any time soon. This is our first. I want to give my body a chance to get some sort of normalcy back.”

He understands. He’s not the one that has to house their children in a body for nine calendar cycles. “You just look so beautiful. Not that you didn’t before, but-"

“It’s your baby in here, I get it,” she replies, lifting his hand to her lips, kissing it. “Not to mention I’m constantly in need of you and your _skills_.”

“Thank you,” he says genuinely. It doesn’t feel weird to be complemented on something so intimate in such an innocent way. Not with her. “You’re not so bad yourself.”  
  
“I only believe it because you say it” she whispers, pausing, then replies, “You love to tell me how good I am.”  
  
“That I do. That I do.”

* * *

 

Elia is two calendar cycles old, not giving her parents much time for anything else but her, but he knew that this was what it was going to be like. He’d just never imagined the sense of fulfillment that would come along with it.

She cries after waking up from her nap, and Ben rushes in, ready to be the one that takes care of her.  
  
But Elia wants her mama; **always** wants her mama.  
  
“I am her food source, Ben,” Rey reassures him, trying to brush his fears away.  
  
“She hates me. That’s probably what I deserve. No, I _know_ it’s what I deserve, I-"  
  
Rey places a finger on his lips, stopping him. “She doesn’t hate you, Ben. She’s a baby.”  
  
He watches as Rey feeds their daughter, and he thinks he falls in love with Rey a little bit more every single day. She's so selfless with him, but she'd never done anything as selfless as give birth to, take care of, and love their baby.

Rey's softly rubbing the silky, shiny hair on Elia’s head. Ben thinks he sees a curl there, but he's not sure.

It’s coal black and he knows it’s going to stay that way.

* * *

 

Three calendar cycles later, and Rey’s back at her old weight – she’s very excited about that. Their sex life’s back to normal now that Elia’s sleeping schedule has changed, and he’s certain she’s gotten sexier since having their baby. She’s more confident somehow.

Elia’s dark hair has remained dark, coming in in ringlets all over her head, glossy like nothing he’s ever been witness to. There’s no way that he could ever have created something so perfect, but Rey was perfect, so he figured that’s how Elia had ended up perfect.

She has her mother’s eyes, but his coloring. No signs yet as to how her nose and ears are going to turn out, but he hopes she gets those traits from Rey. Her gummy smile makes him melt, and he doesn’t feel guilty at all that he’s wrapped around her finger. He was wrapped around Rey’s – they could share.

Rey is very happy that Elia has his mouth.

“It was the first thing I noticed about you,” she tells him one night, “those lips. Unlike any I’d ever seen before. They’re beautiful.”

His daughter’s mouth is Han’s mouth. And he’s forgiven his father, but his perfect girl is a constant reminder of what he’d done. Sure, she went to him easily now, letting him rock her to sleep, preferring bath time with him because he would sprinkle water on her for fun, something that Rey would ever do. She couldn’t be wasteful with water, not after being on Jakku so long.

He peers into Elia’s bedroom, the moons’ light illuminating part of the space. He looks at the wall where he’s painted her name in calligraphy, the wall that her crib is against.

Rey calls for him, and he’s quick to answer.

* * *

 

Four calendar cycles later, and she’s babbling non-stop, not that he or Rey mind. It means that words are on the way. She ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’ at everything, her eyes becoming wide, her smile now showing one tooth. She’s been late with teeth, but they’ve read everything they can find, and it all seems to be okay. Rose’s assurance that it’s fine is the only thing that’s made Rey comfortable about it, though.

They push her in a stroller along the trails on their property. She’s oohs at the flowers and birds, and he can’t help but smile each time. “You’ve become a softie,” Rey says, kissing his cheek.  
  
“I love her,” he says back, looking down at Elia’s head, her thick black curls bouncing with each movement. “She’s ours.”

Later that day, as he feeds her and plays with her on the rug in her room. She opens her mouth to speak before closing it, deciding that she’d rather like to try moving.  
  
“Rey! Rey! Get in here!” Rey rushes in scared, only to realize that Elia’s begun to crawl. “Look!”  
  
“Good job, Elia,” Rey praises, her smile as bright as he’s ever seen it. She sits down on the floor, around seven feet from their baby. “Come to mama!”

As Elia begins toward Rey, she continues talking. “You can do it!”  
  
Elia stops, looking between both of them, confused. Beginning to crawl again, she turns around and goes toward him, and he’s certain he’s going to cry.

Rey doesn’t mind giving him this victory. She knows she’s a good mother, but Ben is always questioning himself.

He picks her up, nuzzling her cheek. “My girl is growing up too fast.” He pulls back, and Elia touches his face trying to nuzzle him in return.  
  
“A papa’s girl,” Rey says.  
  
“And no boy will ever get within ten miles of her,” Ben says, spinning Elia around, getting giggles from her.  
  
Rey laughs, shaking her head. “Ben, she’s only nine calendar cycles old.”  
  
“We have to start planning sometime, Rey.”

That evening he begs her to let Elia sleep in their bed for just that one night. Elia hasn’t slept in their room since she was two calendar cycles old, and Rey’s not about to allow it.

“This is where I get you, Ben Solo! She can have you and me in any other room in this house, but in here you are mine,” she says sternly. Rey pins him to the mattress, kissing him passionately, and Ben decides that he wants Elia to stay in her crib.

* * *

 

Three calendar cycles later, and she’s a year old. A whole year old.

All the decorations are gone, and the guests have left, flying back off to their respective planets. He and Rey have cleaned up while carefully watching as Elia plays with her toys.  
  
Elia's perfect, he thinks. She calls for ‘mama’ a lot, but most of the time she calls for ‘papa’, because papa gives her whatever she wants, plays with her whenever she wants, and picks her up whenever she wants.  
  
Rey even had to put him in a Force hold once just so he didn’t answer her cries in the middle of the night. “Rey, come on.”  
  
“That’s not an ‘I’m scared cry’, that’s an ‘I’m awake now’ cry. You know that.” She released the hold after he'd reluctantly admitted that she was right.  
  
Still watching as she plays, he stops what he’s doing and picks her up, not saying a word to Rey as he carries Elia out to the front porch. She doesn’t question him, and watches as they walk outside.  
  
“We’re going to sit and watch this sunset, little girl.” Elia looks up at him, smiling. She’s up to three teeth now. Three perfect little teeth. “I used to sit out here with your mama a lot before you came along.” She’s still looking at him.  
  
Elia stands on his legs and puts her hands on his neck for support. “Did you know that you’re named after the bravest woman in the galaxy?” he asks her. “Well, your mama’s pretty brave, too.” He corrects himself. “Did you know that you’re named after one of the bravest women in the galaxy?”  
  
Ben looks out at the sun, its orange cast a peaceful glow. “The letters are mixed up, but that’s because your mama and I agreed that being named after someone can be difficult on a person. I should know. Trying to live up to the Skywalker legacy and the name of Ben Kenobi was rough on a kid. Still is.”

Rey stands behind them, in front of the window, closing her eyes to hear every word. “And your mama saved me. She met me when I wasn’t myself, but she loved Ben, not…” He stops himself, looking back down at Elia who is now leaning against him. “I’ve done a lot of bad things that I’m sure you’ll learn about, but your mama was there for the worst thing I ever did.”

“Mama,” Elia says softly, simply repeating what he’d said. 

“Yes, Mama. She saw good in me. I don’t know how. I love her so much.” Ben wipes a tear away wrapping both arms around her. “I was sure that I could never love anything or anyone as much as I love your mama, but then you came one day, and I stood corrected. I loved something else just as much as I loved your mama.” He thinks back to Rey’s labor, the fear he’d been consumed with. _What if she won’t come out? What if Rey doesn’t make it? What if she hates me after this? What if our baby hates me?_

“I’ve never loved anyone before her, and she claims that she’d never loved anyone until me, but I don’t believe her. She’s too pretty.”  
  
Rey’s already crying, silent, soft tears rolling down her face, a gentle smile on her lips. “But she loves me, and she loves me because she’s brave. You wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t been brave enough to save me. I was stubborn, but she never gave up hope, and I’m glad she didn’t.” Elia innocently wipes away a tear, and Ben chuckles. “Mama did it because she loved papa, and papa has always loved mama, and our love gave us you.”  
  
“Papa,” Elia yawns, and Ben knows it’s just about bedtime. It’s probably senseless to talk to a one year old like this, but maybe she’ll see it in his memories one day when they teach her how to see through touch.

“I can’t promise I’m always going to be perfect, and I’ll probably make you angry a lot, but know that I'm trying. Have hope in me." He thinks back to his own childhood, when things had still been good. He wants to be there for every moment. "I wouldn’t be here had your mama lost hope in me. Hope is very powerful, Elia, and I’ll never lose hope in you, and I promise to do everything within my power for you to not lose hope in me.”  
  
Elia yawns again, nuzzling into his shirt. “I know, I know. Long day, kid. Long day.”  
  
Rey scurries away before Ben can see her as he gets up and walks back into the house, cradling Elia in his arms.  
  
That night, Rey kisses Elia’s forehead as they tuck her in. “Goodnight, big girl,” she whispers loud enough for Ben to hear. He’s behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist, looking down at their baby. Rey gently pulls herself from his hold and takes his hand, leading him out of the room and turning off the light.  
  
She’s not sure if Ben would want her to know everything he said to Elia out there. She doesn’t think he’d mind, but he’d probably not intended for her to hear. He’s always telling her how much he loves her, and she tells him her same feelings, but rarely does he say anything about her saving him. Does he realize that he saved her, too? Saved her from years of loneliness? Saved her and given her a family?

Their perfect little family…  
  
“Rey?” Ben asks, concerned. “Are you feeling alright?”  
  
She suddenly realizes that she’s standing still, holding his arm, staring up at him.  
  
“Am I not allowed to stare at the fearlessness that is my husband?” He rolls his eyes and smiles. She gets on her tip-toes, gently kisses his lips, running a hand through his hair, her fingernails gently scraping his scalp the way that he loves.

“I’m hardly fearless,” he says in return. “That’s you.”  
  
“You’ve been fearless for me,” she replies, hugging him to her. “You’ve given me everything I could have ever dreamed of.”  
  
Slowly, he picks her up, and she wraps her legs around his waist. “I had everything I wanted, and you gave me what I needed, what I didn’t realize I wanted… not until I saw you.” He softly places her on their bed, and she looks so damn perfect there.  
  
“You gave me everything,” she whispers against his mouth as she pulls him down onto the bed, tugging at his shirt. She needs it _off._

He rapidly thinks about the day that they’d met,

the day that they realized their connection,

the day they defeated Snoke,

the day he’d said he loved her,

the day she said it back,

the day he left the First Order,

the day they got married,

the day that she’d said she was pregnant,

 _and the day that she’d given birth to their daughter_.  

“And you gave me hope.”

**Author's Note:**

> Of course Ben said I love you first.


End file.
